There is nothing wrong with genre migration!

Random conversation.(I was talking about the lost art of love letters, a lost art i believe that I am trying to bring back, and revolutionize with various degrees of sucess, as you will see)

ME: Can love letters have footnotes?
FRIEND: Lol, a footnote? Wow
ME: ...I put one in there

Nothing wrong with that is there? I didn't think so anyway. Anyway if you are writing a love letter yourself, here are some hints: Pray, really loud that the recepient is exepting to the genre.

1. Use intro (i.e DEAR, Dearest, Querida, One that I adore)etc
a. Under no circumstances use the word "hi" or "hey" or any of their variables.

2. Write idealistically.
b. Refrain from common language. So instead of "Why haven't you written back" write as Griban might put it: "I have thought of many matters during the mute months that have passed without my receiving either an answer or a letter."

3. Do not get sexual. Instead of "I can't wait to &%$@" write "I can't wait to hold you in my arms" or things of that nature.

4. Be honest, it is ok to exaggerate a bit. Not too honest. Keep the "waited by your house for 5 hours to get a look at you" comments to your self, you psycho!

5. Metaphors and similes and any type of figurative language is great. "My longing for you is like an unrelenting tide" or "You are day, noon and night."
a. Make sure you don't go overboard. It all depends on the recipient. Few if its a new love, many if its a long term love.
b. Remember the purpose is to woo, not to scare. So if you are just crushing and you want a date don't go "you are my everything" or "my fire for you burns deep like the sun" etc.

6. Be optimistic.
a. Odds are that women might be weirded out. Since Love letters are things of the past and chivalry is dead with the acceleration of the feminist movement.
b. Girls might not know what to do about a it, and guys would probably get scared unless the giver was cute.

7. Quote someone else.
a. Don't cite them, just put it in quotes.

8. Don't be afraid to put your own touch to it. Write your own lines if possible, but remember that you can't go wrong with Neruda, Browning, Cummings, etc.

9. Put your name on it!
a. Very important. I forgot this important detail myself at one time.
b. If you want to go the secret admirer route. Exclude name for a bit if you want, but make sure this girl isn't moving any time soon and that you will eventually put it in there.

10. Footnotes optional.


Don't blame me if this doesn't work.
P.S It works better if you know the person.
P.S.S If by any chance you were wondering (stalking does not make you more attractive, so put the binoculars down k. thanks.)

On being seduced

Yes said “I just wanted to know how she did it.”

How? –I thought.

V e r y s l o w l y. –I responded- Slowing my speech to show the progression of time that lasted months. “Persistently and patiently” I should have said; picking at my resistance oh so persistently, ever so patiently, telling me everything I wanted to hear. “She listened” I should have said.

“And what was the first noticeable move?” -Yes inquired.

I don’t remember it happening all I know is that it happened. –Was my response. Truth is, the more I think about it, the more I can remember. By the time anything became noticeable, it was too late. Nothing left but resistance, but a need to pull away till I couldn’t because it was what I wanted.

Rubbing of noses. –I stated.

“Grazing of lips?” -Yes added.

The grazing of lips came later. –I remembered.

“And before that?”

Before that; sleep. –I concluded with a familiar and the overly used broadness I am accustomed to. Not mentioning that the rubbing of noses or eyelashes upon the skin were neither the first step, nor the second, nor the third, which I believe, if I remember correctly… was unnoticeable.

Lacrimosa. Why I don't recap, las chicas of Bilingual Ed and strippers?

I keep battling my shortcomings as a writer. This time I want to write a really sad heart break song . Lost love or something like that. Something vulnerable and sorta pathetic, ie "Ven y dime como hago." Which is guy saying, 'damn you left me broken hearted, things suck, i dont know what to do. Tell me how i can forget you since you seem to have done a great job forgeting me.' OR "Lacrimosa," which is an allusion to a Mozart piece, and is a latin word meaning lagrimas que flueyen o llena de lagrimas. Which is in itself a great title methinks because it also doubles as the name of the girl being adressed. Besides you cannot go wrong with Mozart as your background music. "Lacrimosa" is basically guy saying 'this is what is left of me, you were my everything and now you have left me and you suck." jaja or something. I can never get there, to that part of human honesty in regards to love gone wrong, I don't think many people do. I want to get there (in a strickly writing manner of course, I can do without love gone wrong. Which coincidently could be my problem.... hmmm any heartbreakers out there?)

I keep trying to write about what I did, like most people do, in order to keep others involved in what they are doing. The weekened recap, the funny thing that happened in whereever, the thing that pissed them off last sunday, pero no puedo. No se porque, just hard. Not hard, but not so inately divulged from inside of me. This weekened was fun, I saw many a wonderful people. Some that I hadn't seen in a while. I was quite the social bug. Cosa que no pasa muy a menudo, pero pasa. I'll work on the details despues.

I wanna write about the wonderful world of non-native girls who are bilingual education or Spanish majors. That is the most amazing thing ever. Learning a language is hard work, but yet there they are, taking classes, learning spanish, loving it and the culture and everything else. It is the most amazing thing ever, I am just in awe of all of them. I can't really explain it, why they aren't fighting off guys with a stick, I will never know. or maybe they are and I just don't know it...

There is nothing sexier than the spanish language coming out of a non-native speaker. Which reminds me of the stripper incident of 2003, not to be confused with the 2005 version, which coincidently did not include spanish but was a lot of fun.

Spain

1) Mission Penelope was a failure
2) My attempt to seduce an older spanish woman with a glance (for scientific purposes only) failed miserably. I blame my non Brad Pitt looks.
3) I did have a wonderful time though. It was just what i needed.
4) I wish I could have brought someone back.

Things I learned:
- Fire is deceptively hotter that I thought.
- Sleeping on the beach should be reserved for the summer.
- Low in cash? Vacation in non-Euro using countries.
- It is not where you are, but who you are with that really matters.